Full Moon Excorsism

So I am currently in th boondocks. Boondocks being defined as any place that you could wonder off and get lost and die of starvation if you are foolish enough.

I am reequanting myself with working with dirt and plants. I am surrounded by diverse people from many walks of life, beautiful cats brimming with personality, peacocks roaming through meadows while massive rolling forests change from green to a sea of yellows oranges and reds.

I am going to be here through the fall making good money and hopefully doing a lot of healing.

Healing. What a massive concept. It is very interesting how much pain is rippling through so many of my family members right now as well as through my self. M is in rehab and booooy is he in a bad spot. I support him and love him.
WoM SB is falling apart. Quit painfully it seems. Alot of infighting and negativity. Blessings to the ones that are bringing in the positivity.

Fire. I miss my lover. I talked to her today and when I got off the phone I was so sad that I wanted to weep. :( I held that in and then for no reason at all I became so incredibly angry.
Then crazy serendipitously one of my new friends said to someone else in a conversation I overheard, that sadness repressed seems to almost always turn into anger. That was very good to hear. So I am going to go to bed now and let myself weep because I miss my beloved.

Trans-ignition

A threshold has been crossed and a decision has been reached.

I believe that my mother put it best during a phone conversation.."so basically, working for the Boys & Girls Club is preventing you from doing what you want."

I just stood there slightly stunned by the truth of that.

Cross that with the fact that the BGCSF treats me SHIITAY!!!

Im done. Im looking for new work, and when I feel like I have enough to keep me going for a while, I'm out.

Fuck that bullshit org and its megalithic bullshit engine. I've watched children die, and I've helped children believe in themselves. I deserve better, and money alone does not replace respect, humanity and true compassion for ones fellow man.

It was good while it lasted.

Sigh......


So where to next? That's the magic question.

I know that I want to be involved in music and sound and also workikng with my hands. I don't want any more paperwork. Bleeaaaccchh!!!


W gives me many suggestions on directions that I can head in order to get what I want and all I can say is ..Yes. Yes, Yes, Yes. I want chaaaaange and I want to do what I love.

I am soooooo scared and excited at the same time.

Thats all for now.